Abuse

I'm addicted to emotional abuse. I love the feeling that he might leave any second and then comes back when I least expect it. I'm unhealthy, any advice?

Every time I feel like leaving, I send messages saying I'm done. He then returns this kindness with a day spent to me, in turn, catered to him, with money I don't actually have to spend.

I'm addicted to emotional abuse, I need help.

New Lover

I have been enjoying myself with a man, unfortunately there are flaws to this man.
Now I'm believing I have to force myself to let him go.
Because he is not interested.

I have been chilling with him for a month, and it is AMAZING!
I could feel myself falling for him in a crazy way, I have to let go.

Moment

For three weeks I was in heaven hanging out with a guy, he was everything I was looking for in a guy. Well not exactly, but he was down to go places.

Well, yesterday he decided our fling was over, even though yesterday we were having a blast at a Spanish concert.

It was over as quickly as it started.

It was a really good moment and now I know it will never be there again, I'm upset because I allowed myself to be with this guy knowing it was not going anywhere. Makes me depressed because I pick horrible men.

I'm hurt because I am having a hard time loving myself.

He was very handsome, but he could never take me seriously because of who I was as a person. I messed up from day one with him and he completely decided it wasn't going anywhere.
He fucken introduced me to his brother,,, and for what?! I don't know, and I never will.

Tomorrow.... it will pass.

Still sick, I wonder when it will be over. 
I am going to go to a friends party tomorrow! I can't wait!
I am so happy and tired already lol.
I should not go but I feel I must because I'm still depressed
Can't take back my invitation now.
Get to go out with friends, from high school days. :D
You, me, anyone would have a great time there.
Out I will go, out in a daze lol.
Of all days, though, it had to be when I'm sick.
My outfit will be AMAZING, I will be so flawless.
Head will hurt the next day but oh well.

I don't understand...

I don't understand how I could give my everything, myself, to a man who couldn't give a damn about me. I don't understand and I know I never will, there is no happy ending when it comes to him. A man I fell completely in love with, a man who abused me and I yearn for his abuse.

Emotional abusive relationships are horrible, I wonder if I will ever be the same.

I will feel alright for so long until my mind opens a thought in which I held down during our relationship, only because I felt it wasn't worth mentioning at the time. I did everything to secure him with me, and instead, it secured him, secured him to cheat on me.

I held onto remnants of him, I kept him as a friend on my STEAM account for a very long time, until 2 days ago, I deleted him. I know I am done with him, that's what hurts the most, I'm done with him.

From now on, no matter if he contacts me, I can't go back.

I'm so hurt, I can't go back, I healed myself but the scars are still there.

Scars in which he gave me. It's over.

I will never understand why a human being would inflict this pain on another being.

Tweaking Blog

I'm editing this blog as I type this, editing will take place throughout the entire day. Sorry followers, I want to add other sites I'm on and I'm not familiar with website making so this is going to take awhile. There will be an update as to when I finally get it settled.

Thanks for your support! <3

Passerby

"Here Comes a Thought"

I feel like sometimes LIFE is not worth living, everyone has thoughts like this. Thoughts like jumping off a cliff or diving into a car, these thoughts run through my head at least a couple times a week. Then I stop, I breathe, I call my mom, she then goes onto to say "Think of the things that make you happy, think of things in this world that make you happy." I have been thinking about what makes me happy as often as thoughts of why I'm depressed are harvesting within me.

What makes you happy?

Things in this world that make me happy...

• My Daughter

• Being Alive
• Being Me
• Having a Great Family
• Doing Great in School

Life is not easy for me and no one really has it easy, however, I do things that make me feel accomplished, I feel accomplished. This is why my life is worth living.

p.s. that is not an actual picture of my canine daughter, but she looks like the above pic.