I felt weak from still trying to make it work with my ex but in reality, talking to an ex you were madly in love with is not weakness, IT IS NOT! I tried making it work! I fucken tried my hardest, even after he cheated, some people like to call people stupid for still sticking around their ex because their ex-cheated on them, that's not the case! Trying to make it work even after all hope is lost is very noble! I don't give a damn what everyone else says, I wasn't giving up on love.
I felt something strong, I felt the connection, a connection I did not want to lose, I didn't want to lose it at all costs that I put myself in danger. I put myself in such a vulnerable place, a place that I am now trying to get out of.
He stopped messaging me like crazy, all the time I brought up how I felt and I wanted us to be, he shut me down.
Shut me down to the shallowest depths, into the darkest places, many times I say "I'll give up, I'm leaving for good," I would go back. This time I will not!
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness"
Don't mistake people trying to make love work in this hell hole as weakness, some people feel so much for other people, and those people they are in love with leave. Those people who saw them as stupid and weak are cruel. My ex's heart was never in it. He never liked our relationship, he despised everything about me.
I am leaving a dark place.
I Love Him, I always capitalized love to put emphasis on how much I felt for him, he never once cared. He cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. He would bash me for hugging people, he would bash me for saying "I love you" to friends. I got bashed for any guy I talked to. I got called every name in the book because he said, "I can't control myself when I'm mad."
We're forever over, and it hurts like a storm to say it. I feel like shattered glass.
If you ever read this ______ This one's for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-cvKiFf0n0&list=RDd_DFVzxsEUc&index=19
Here's the lovely poem you said was mine:
For the red rose wilted through the cold dry winter winds.
I bid good bye my forsaken one.
I bid good bye to the dying hymn chanting your oh sweet name.
Ah, I can still taste your sweetness in my tongue.
I bid good bye my forsaken one.
I bid good bye to the dying hymn chanting your oh sweet name.
Ah, I can still taste your sweetness in my tongue.
For the drying stream of water that flows on thy veins.
I bid farewell my forsaken one.
I bid farewell to the never ending nights of damn regrets.
Ah, your smell still clings to my rotten soul.
I bid farewell my forsaken one.
I bid farewell to the never ending nights of damn regrets.
Ah, your smell still clings to my rotten soul.
For the creeping darkness upon my vision for the things I long to see cease to exist. I shall grab your hand and jump head on to meet the deep abyss where we’ll both succumb to forever where our lives get devoured by nothingness.
<3
Cheers to the goodbye of everything you lost.
